Struggler (English Novel) [3]



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Bihari has entered in gate of colony where Abdul brother is sitting in his shop. He calls Bihari. Bihari was not in mood of talking but he is helpless, he has to talk him because of knowing messages of  telephone.

“Bihari brother, take it.” he keep a one kilogram sweet packet in his hand while speaking. Before Bihari ask anything, Abdul tell him about a boy named Shashank asked to handover this to you. Bihari ask him reason, Abdul tell him he had only given this sweet packet and also said to call you tomorrow in the morning by eight’o clock. He gives four pieces of sweet from box to Abdul brother. Vishal, Swami and Shikhar are sleeping in room. The room was smelling with alcohol. He opens a plate and see pulse was kept in a bowl and chapatis was rolled in a newspaper. Bihari doesn’t feel to eat. He eat two-three pieces of sweet, drink two glasses water and after changing clothes lie near by Swami on tattered mat. He turns his face towards wall because Swami sweat was whiffing with  cheap alcohol. Bihari has spent almost nine – ten years in Bombay. He has seen a lot of colorfulness of Bombay. He tried to cover his eyes with his right wrist and his eyes stop at the name tattooed on his wrist with blue ink – Akhilesh Sinha. He get tattooed done in market of Patna with name – Akhilesh Sinha. It has been so long of visiting Patna. He had come to Bombay from Patna and now he is citizen of Bombay. Home, mother-father, family-relatives, friends – foes, everyone has been left behind. Now only random film, random producers, random directors, random studios, dubbing, shooting, recording mixing, hit-flop, super hero, sexy heroin, day shift, night shift – he is living in all these only. After coming to Bombay, a talented student Akhilesh Sinha from Patna university has become struggler that means assistant director Bihari. The passenger who has traveled from Akhilesh Sinha to Bihari feels this house is Parking. He has to go…..has to go so far.

Ten or twelve year ago, Akhilesh Sinha was a student of B. A. First year in Patna University. Literature subject was compulsory in course, but Akhilesh found it boring. He has read one or two Literature books thoroughly for his exams, which was adventurous and leave an strong impact on his mind. And then Akhilesh Sinha got crazy for Literature poem. He has got chance of reading books like Gaban, Godan, Karmnasha ki haar, Kaliganj ki bahu, Murdaghar, Mahabhoj, Kamla, Nirmala, Geetanjali. He start taking interest in Stage Play (Drama) in university. In beginning Akhilesh Sinha got responsibility of small works like unroll rug, ringing bell, pulling curtains, cutting tickets on window and doing checking on door, arranging beverages for artist during interval. Sinha feel it as his responsibility and work on it, as it was his duty.

Akhilesh Sinha took admission in Patna University to become teacher after finishing his B. A. and then B. Ed course but now he has been started thinking deeply on subjects like stage, drama, story, acting, character description, character sketch, national issues, regional culture – manners. And then slowly -slowly a thought insulated in his Mind that “Will have to do something in life but other then teaching. ” But he wasn’t able to think about this “something”, on which point of aim does he need to focus? Sometimes even after knowing the main reason of worries when human couldn’t reach the conclusion of it, then he should left it all on time (kalachakra). Something same happened with Akhilesh Sinha. Akhilesh Sinha had been introduced with many experience and information of art while entering last year of B. A. Feeling of doing Something in art field provoke his heart but picture of this “Something” is still bluer. If you have goal in your mind, you will get right way for sure. Same thing happened with Akhilesh Sinha – one day he watched Sagar Sarhadi’s film – “Bazar”. Story of film, acting of Nasir-Shabana-Om Puri and presentation of director was extremely good, that he fit film medium in focus point of “something”. But what will he do in film? Writer….? Director….? Artist…? He doesn’t know any other designation other than this and also he wasn’t able to think deeply. He didn’t spent his much time on thinking about this topic and directly shifted in Bombay after finishing his studies.

Akhilesh Sinha has passed not only one but many tough exams to enter in magical cottage of mysterious place….and one day he found himself as apprentice assistant director on set of a film. This small success make him realize if purpose is pure, determined, have enough courage to bare problems, then he will get manhood crown on his head. A new struggler has been included in the crowd of struggler.

…..and one day someone change him with love from “Akhilesh Sinha” to “Bihari”. He was assistant director in film “Savan bhadav”. He had a only responsibility to bring artist on set from make up room. On order of “Call Rekha ji ” he present before Rekha in make up room. “Madam set is ready. Director sir is calling you. ” The way in which he said “set” and “director” was little awkward as he opened his mouth enlarged and it makes Rekha laugh. After controlling her laugh Rekha called Akhilesh Sinha near by her and tell him very politely “Dear Akhilesh, forget Bihar. Now you are in atmosphere of film industry in Bombay. Try to adjust yourself otherwise your image will be same….” Rekha doesn’t spoke anything else after it. He used to watch her on tv, he got tears in his eyes after seeing her in reality and getting advice from her. And then Akhilesh Sinha started trying to improve himself, but this incident was spread all over set like fire. In process of improving himself, his name got stamp of “Bihari” and Akhilesh Sinha has been lost somewhere ??


Many future artists working in film industry reside in deep chawl and small cottages in Khar – danda. Many famous and successful artists at present from film industry, have been spent many years of their life in ten feet length and fifteen feet width small cottage of this Khar- danda. Perhaps many lost people are also residing here who will rock in future with their success.In same khar-danda, Entertainment journalist Raj was also residing in six feet length and eight feet width room present at last corner of thin street in chawl of Gullu Tiwari. Raj is filmy encyclopedia in himself. There is no such topic of hindi film industry which Raj doesn’t know. Entertainment journalist Raj has ability to provide brief knowledge of incident since 1913 film Raja Harishchand to now. Just like his name Entertainment journalist Raj is secretive of many film’s mysteries, who doesn’t leave a single chance to affect people by providing hidden information on perfect time. No-one can guess his age from his facial structure. Well he seems to be only thirty-thirty two, but it amuse people when he let them know about his presence in film making during 1960s. This entertainment journalist Raj is a puzzle in himself. He did not put surname after his name ever and also he didn’t tell anybody if they ask about it. He always used to assemble his scattered silky black hairs on his head but still some hairs fall on his forehead. Look-wise beautiful. Black eyes, long sharp face. Clean shaved. His get up suits his personality. Either it is pent-shirt or kurta- paijama. Footwear according to fashion either sandal or shoes.

He is residing in Mumbai for many years. Don’t know where has he come from? Who are there in his family? Even his best friends who are very close to him also don’t know anything about it. However, alcohol was his weakness but he was never caught in gutter nor anyone has seen him speaking rudely or reacting badly. It’s eleven in the morning but Mr. Raj is still sleeping. Telephone is ringing continuously. He wakes up after ten to twelve times ringing of telephone.

“Hello.” voice was heavy.

“Mr. Raj, are you sleeping till now? “

“Yes Vishal, tell me. “His head was still heavy due to sleep.

“Are you coming at evening?”

“Where? “

“Oh! Great. You forgot? It’s golden jubilee party of “I am your older lover” “.

“Yes-yes”. He scratches his head and remember “I’ll reach by seven in evening. Does the bearer cheque which I gave you got cash or not? “

“That’s why I made call to you. Should I come to your house with money or you’ll receive it at eve in party.”

“Well, it’s good the cheque of that greedy man has been cleared. Give me at eve. No need to get it trouble now.”

“Ok.. I am disconnecting call now. Have a good day.”

“Ya. Ok.. Bye.” Raj put receiver on cradle and closes his eyes for sometime. Door knocks after ten minutes. Raj open his eyes. Three-four written papers and a paper pad was kept near his head. Pen was stuck in his sando. First he wraps a large piece of cloth around his waist. Then door get knocked again. “Coming, bro. ” he opens door while speaking. A Maharashtriyan woman about forty years age was standing in front.

“Oh.. Aunty. You? ” Mr. Raj come back to his bed.

“I told you many times not to keep awaking at night. But you don’t understand. ” Aunty comes in and collect dirty containers which was used last night. She continues speaking. ” Surekha’s father suggests it is harmful for health to keep awaking in night. But you never care.”

“Aunty I can’t manage to do writing work during day time. Now see I wrote twenty pages in whole night.” He shows pages. “Working at night is easy and mind also work actively that time.”

“You knows, your work.” She move towards door while speaking and speak again, “food is ready. Call me after taking bath.” and she left.

Mr. Raj didn’t listen carefully and switch on tv with remote in which an episode is broadcasting. Aunty’s cottage is based next to two cottages, where she lives with her husband and an only daughter Surekha. Surekha is B. A. First year student in the Narsi Monji college. Mr. Raj and Aunty have relation of foster brother-sister. Aunty is clean and soft hearted. She is a kind of religious woman, who provide lunch and dinner to Raj on time. She never ask for anything in return of providing food but Raj keep rupees five hundred in Surekha’s hand at every tenth day of month.

“I ask you many times not to give money.”

“Who is giving you aunty? I am giving this money to my niece for her studies. “

“No need of that also. She will get into bad habits.”

“What kind of bad habits she will get into with rupees five hundred? Aunty our Surekha is prudent girl. After she will finish B. A., I’ll let her pursue M. A. and then P. hd. You just keep watching. “

“I don’t wanna let her get crazy because of extra studies. What so ever was supposed to happened has been already happened with me and my husband. “

“Now I am worried about Surekha. I am looking for a good boy so that I can get rid of responsibility of Surekha’s marriage.”

After listening about her marriage Surekha feel shy and run out of the house.

“Brother.” Aunty do not hesitate in sharing her personal talks with Raj because she believes him, “God knows how many, more years will her father waste in this film industry. All the expenses are maintaining from whatever we are earn after worshiping in rich people house. I have a lot of jewelry for Surekha’s marriage. I’ll give that only to my daughter as dowry. Mishra and I am worried about Surekha’s marriage only. God hasn’t served us with another child. We will have to fulfill all our dreams with Surekha only. We will let her study only if she wants and then will choose a good family for her marriage.

“Don’t worry aunty. God is there, who will do good to everyone.” This way Raj and aunty are tied in a pure and emotional relation. He used to give his gifts to Surekha which he had received in filmy parties. If he tries to give money more than rupees five hundred, aunty refuse clearly to accept it. Raj come back to home by one or one-thirty at night. He eats food kept aside and note down interview and articles on paper till morning four’o clock. After keeping those papers in envelope, he sleep till morning eleven’o clock. This was regular life of Entertainment journalist Raj. Everyone who knows him in film industry use to call him Mr. Raj. Articles and filmy interviews written by Mr. Raj are used to published in twenty five newspapers and periodical magazines all over North and central India. Aunty’s husband Mishr…. Achutanand Mishr is one of his old friend. Achutanand used to do worship work in film mohrat. He has played small characters in more than hundred films but still no-one stalk him ever like – “brother, I have seen your film. “



Vishal is getting bored standing at pool side gate of hotel Palmgrove. Vishal hates waiting for someone. Today he is going to meet with a party who is going to finance him rupees five lakh for making blue film. Stupid-anand is really queer man.” Vishal spoke himself. Achutanand Mishr ordered him to stand at pool side gate by four pm. It’s around seven in the evening but Achutanand and his party haven’t come yet. When Vishal made call to his house, his wife told him Achutanand has gone out since morning.

“He may have got alcohol in free and he must be drunk now.” Vishal started thinking What next will he do to pass his time till ten pm. He think and walk towards hotel Sea Princess to meet a person belongs to his village and worked as watchman. Vishal heart get tickled after watching beautiful girls waiting for customers sitting in auto-rickshaw at Juhu police station. He had spent a night with a junior artist almost before a month. He stand near by bus stop,  with his back stuck on wall in hope of having fun. Many auto-rickshaw passes from U-turn of Juhu road, many girls call him with eye gestures but Vishal shake his head in denial because he can’t find any girl according to him who must have beautiful face, full breast and attractive figure. After refusing six or seven girls, a Nepali girl allude her eyes to him. Vishal get over of sharing bed with similar kind of girls. Tingle of spending night with a Napali girl make him feel extra energetic. After fixing things at rupees one hundred auto-rickshaw move ahead fast. It was his first experience with a stalker slut. The Nepali girl took Vishal to a cottage behind Hotel Chattan. After passing from many rows of cottages five-six sluts were standing with their customers in corners of four walls. Vishal Didn’t understand anything about crowd.

“Wait for ten minutes brother, I’ll be back. ” After saying this girl moves to another street. He remain shocked after listening word “Brother” from that girl.

Now Vishal started feeling shy in this crowd. Broken door of cottage get opened and girl come out with an adult man. Face of that man was looking pale. That girl asked another girl to pull up zip of her lower,  because she came out in hurry. Vishal eyes move on her back. Vishal feel disgusting after watching white colour strip of bra on black body. Another couple enters in cottage. A sound of creaking of plank was clearly audible outside. He get into this type of environment for first time. Before this he has been sucked many junior extra girls at you rupees five hundred in makeup rooms of Natraj, Chandivali and Filmalay studios. Ten minutes has been over but Nepali girl hasn’t come yet.

“Don’t know where has she gone, and I am stuck here.”  After watching Vishal troublesome expressions, a girl who was busy in kissing her customer spoke loudly “She…. Mohini is very bad. She left one customer here, and now must be roaming to get another customer.”

Vishal found this atmosphere unbearable. He moved towards a street in which Nepali girl went to get out. Vishal was feeling suffocative in area of smelly cottages. He was passing one by one street in hurry to get out on road. After going in a street he see a dusky girl in pink colour saree who has not put makeup on her face. She must be twenty or twenty-one years old. Vishal think not to go in another street after this, but there was no more street after this. No-one else was there other than him and the girl. Vishal foot move towards her. Girl face was full of smile like tides in sea. Vishal wanted to pass from there but girl hold his right hand. Girl show him signature with her eyes to go into the house. Vishal see the house from inside which was clean. The Jasmine flower Garland stuck in girl’s bun was spreading it’s fragrance.

“Come in Mr. I’ll make you happy.” after saying this she put right hand palm of Vishal on her left breast. Veins of palm start thundering. Vishal eyes move from tightness of full breast to her stomach. Her stomach wasn’t much fat. He got allergic from stomach of junior extra. Girl press his palm lightly.

“How much do you charge?” Vishal asked only this and she pull him inside the house and lock it. After sliding her saree from her shoulder she take Vishal in her arms and speak after a light kiss, “what’s the matter of money? Pay as much as you wish to, I’ll not demand big house.”


Bihari made a call to Rashmi at seven’o clock in the morning. Her mother told him she is sleeping. When he called at eight thirty am, he come to know that madam is taking bath in the washroom. Bihari promised to call exactly at Nine fifteen am.  “Where has she gone? ” after he asks, her mother express inconvenience of not letting him know anything. Bihari felt very bad that Rashmi didn’t waited for his call, even when he gave time and left. Today is Sunday, it’s holiday, he wanted to spend the day with Rashmi, but….. He make call to Harry Prash to know about his wellness, and his sister inform him that he has gone somewhere just now. Bihari mood get upset. He purchase a bottle of beer from market and decide to remain in trance whole day. Other than his three room partners Shikhar, Swami and Vishal, Bihari was attached with Rashmi, but today he will have to spend his whole day alone in his room, because his three partners was busy in shooting of a serial. He was useless for last three weeks.


Office clerk inform Production manager Deshpandey about spot boy Lalli’s health, who is badly ill for last two days. Deshpandey inform about Lalli’s health issue to Director Satish Sharma.

“Do one thing Deshpandey, I am giving you rupees two hundred. Take Lalli to doctor for his check up and buy fruits for him with the remaining amount.” Satish Pandey put rupees two hundred in Deshpandey’s hand.

When Deshpandey look inside a small dark room, closed with a horses stable of Brother Salam near by versova juhu beach, he see Lalli is laying with his knees close to his stomach. The room was smelling with damp and horse dung. He sit when Deshpandey ask him to wake up. Lalli tell him that he is suffering from Maleria and feeling good after having medicines. Deshpandey gives him two hundred rupees given by Satish Sharma and add hundred rupees more from his side and promise to visit him next day. Lalli lie on a plank in a cottage close to horses stable.Laalta Prasad who was escaped from his house to become hero, is now working as spot boy Lalli.



Rashmi is sleeping carelessly in clasp of deep slumber on soft mattress of Dunlop covered with velvet blanket. Velvet bedsheet is laying near her legs. Nighty has got many wrinkles. She has left her long, black hairs which is now scattered on her waist, arms, cheeks and above her head. Rashmi is also an struggler. She also has dream to become actress like Hema, Rekha and Meena Kumari. She has finished her B. A. Degree from S. N. D. T. College, she doesn’t wish to do job, also she doesn’t need to do it. Her father Arvind Deshpandey is personal manager in a private company and elder brother has his garage near boriwali station. Younger brother is Computer diploma holder, who is doing job in a software company while continuing his studies in engineering. House is blessed with Goddess Laxmi. Mother respect Rashmi’s wishes and she is supporting her in fulfilling her dreams of working into film industry. A new struggler “Rashmi Deshpandey” has also been admitted in crowd of Struggler. Rashmi neither have experience of any theater work nor she has got chance to show her acting skills. But she is confident and she believe in herself that if she will get chance, she will prove herself as a good actress. On behalf of her self confidence, Rashmi has spent rupees eight thousands on getting her portfolio done, which was guided by assistant director Bihari. Struggle of Rashmi was continue on behalf of copy of her hundred photographs, guidelines of Bihari and  Phone calls to famous producer directors, whose names are available in film directory.

Those who sleep till late in the morning are habitual of watching sweet dreams. May be Rashmi is also watching dream. Rashmi is standing on a huge stage along with twenty-five or thirty beautiful girls in hotel Center Juhu.

There is crowd of thousands of people in front. Photographers camera are flashing continuously. The entire picture of hall is presenting on a television set placed in hall. Live show of “Miss India Beauty contest” organised by Femina and coca-cola brand is broadcasting on other channels along with doordarshan channel. Rashmi get excited and a wind of adventurous flows in her body, When she see her close up face on television set placed in hall. All her body parts are full of glad. “Miss India” name is about to announce that’s why audience and beauties excitement is too high.Group of youngsters standing and sitting in crowd are screaming names of Beauties of their choice. In this way they want to express their choice to Organiser of selecting “Miss India” out of all the beautiful girls. Every group was creating noise with the different different beauties name. Rashmi’s eyes was moving towards all the corners of hall. She was looking for number of people demanding for her. Sometimes here sometimes there, sometimes in front, sometimes at back, after watching every side she felt not a single audience is screaming her name. Rashmi make her ears more aware because may be she is unable to see her audience in crowd but she can at least hear them. Rashmi get disappointed because she hasn’t heard a single noise of her name. Rashmi start shifting away from other beauties to the corner of stage slowly because she felt insulting and hopeless. She had come to know about her foil. She started feeling not only she won’t become “Miss India” but also she won’t be selected as runner up. Rashmi’s eyes get full with tears. She hide herself behind curtain. Crowd on the other side get reflected in her tears and she can see a face clearly. That was Bihari’s face.  Bihari is standing quietly and showing her thumbs up while telling “All the best”. Rashmi still can’t believe it. Bihari was looking fake to her, who is giving her best wishes to keep her hopefulness. She close her eyes. Many pearls of tears fall down.

Everyone get silent when “Miss India” name get announced. Completely silent… Like it was heap of corpses and there was no crowd in hall. Rashmi sobs as she surrender. The noise of her stifled sob resonates in hall. Everyone was hearing her sob and was also understanding her feelings. Organiser open their mouth to announce the name, “The award of Miss India beauty contest goes to Miss Rashmi Deshpandey.” The entire hall reverberates with the noise of clapping. Her name was reverberates all the sides. Only her face was visible on all the television sets present in hall, When chief guests put gold crown on her head. Rashmi cry eyes out. Flood which was stored in her heart came out of eyes. For once she felt she will get crazy. She tried to touch crown, she wore on her head slowly but before this telephone started ringing “Tring-tring”. Rashmi eyes get open. Dream broken. She remain bereaved of touching crown. The time is seven-twenty in the morning. “Dream watched in morning become true. “

“Hello” how innocent and how polite her voice is. Not only once but someone would wish to hear it again and again.

“Rashmi. Bihari speaking.”

“Oh! Mr. Bihari, you cause big loss to me.”

“What happen?” Bihari manage to handle receiver while speaking, “What loss have I caused to you?”

“I was supposed to get Miss India award, and you rung telephone bell. “

“Oh.. Did femina organiser came to your house? Are they giving award in hidden?”


“Do one thing, cut the call and receive the Miss India award first.”

“Mr. Bihari I was into Dream and watched I am selected as “Miss India”.”

“Congratulations.” Bihari squint, “You have decided to become actress before ten days and today you are wearing Crown of Miss India. “

“Morning dreams come true, know? ” Rashmi asked as an innocent child.

“Whether it happens or not, but my best wish are with you to make your dream come true. “

“Thank-you Mr. Bihari. How similar you and the Bihari to whom I watched in dream.” Rashmi shows gratefulness to Bihari, “In my dream also only you were the one who wished me “all the best” and now again you are giving best wishes to me.”

“Everything depends on luck Ms. Rashmi. It’s not about thinking or not thinking.” Bihari was speaking exactly in philosophical manner, “We can’t do anything but at least can give best wishes.”

“Thank you. And how you called me? “

“I have forwarded your photographs in ‘times’. It will be printed next Tuesday. Don’t forget to purchase.” as Bihari has done big job.

“Thank you Mr. Bihari, Thank-you. So when are we meeting? “

“I’ll call you. I have to go in a sitting now. Should I go?” and phone get disconnected after promise of meeting.


To be continued on next page 4, Click Here

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